i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
