i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
