1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
