I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
