Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
