I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
