how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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