Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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