I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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