Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
