Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
