Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There r osticjed everywhere
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
