The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
