One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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