i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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