pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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