i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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