Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
