she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
