i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
