I feel like I'm in dance class right now
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
