why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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