weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
