Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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