Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
