I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
