perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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