Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
