YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
