scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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