All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
