dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Boobs speak an international language.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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