The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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