i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
