i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i need an iv and a liver transplant
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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