if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
