Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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