ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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