Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
