Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
