i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
