Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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