I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
