Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
