i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
