sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
