I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
