thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
