turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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