I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
