We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
